I hate lying to say "I am OK". I hate lying to say that I am in a good condition. I hate lying that everything is in the right place. I hate lying and pretending to be like this. I hate lying and making my lips stay smiling and say that it is good also.
But, I think, my zone was colonized. I am not allowed to show my feel into a writing on Twitter or Facebook 'cause their are pushing me to have a bad feeling. I canceled all my holiday schedule. I deactived my Facebook account. I stop update my Facebook account. And just on this blog I write down my feeling.
But...no one know what my feeling is. They will never know. They just can saying what they want, but they will never know, what I want...
This morning, I decided to write this, I can't pretend to be someone else. Your last sms makes me so disappointed and wanna be somebody else. I hate being what you want, I wanna be me. Is that wrong? Is that too much to ask for?
Is that difficult enough?
God, I can't stand with this pain. I hope you understand.
aku pernah ada diposisi kakak.
ReplyDeletestress gila, rasanya pengen teriak, pengen njebur ke laut. udah rasanya pengen berakhir semuanyaaa.
satu hal yang tak percaya.
orang lain gak akan pernah tau apa yang kita rasain sebelum mereka jadi diri kita. tapi surely, tiap orang punya masalah masing-masing. terus semangat kakak! walaupun hidup dengan senyum palsu, setidaknya itu lebih baik karena masalah akan lebih mudah dihadapi dengan senyuman :). semangat! haha *komenku panjang banget nget* :)
Wah wah, iya nih, ini komen terpanjang, hehehe. Tapi sekarang aku udah nyoba ngurangin menye-menye *insyaAllah, amin* berhasil ngga ya? :D
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